NB: This post is inspired by true events. Yes, it actually happened. It happens. A lot.
11:05 Class dismissed for play break. Students ushered out door.
11:11 Final students leave. Walked over, closed door.
Ah, peace at last.
11:13 Students from neighboring classroom who are late to play open door as they spill outside.
Noise of excited play pierces the silence.
11:15 Last stragglers leave.
THE DOOR IS WIDE OPEN.
11:16 Got sick of the noise. Walked over, closed door.
Began munching on rice cracker snacks at desk. Checked emails. Opened a can of Coke Zero.
11:21 Student A returns to put lunch box in bag. Slams door behind her.
11:24 Student A enters to get lunch box from bag again.
Makes a half-hearted attempt to close door. Effort does not pay off.
Once again, room is filled with deafening roar of children playing below.
11:25 Walked over, closed door.
11:27 Teacher A leaves through door. Calls out to colleague. I’ll be back! Chances are high she’s photocopier-bound.
Hands are obviously too full to close door.
Walked over, closed door.
11:29 On my heels, girls walk in to return plastic bags they had borrowed. Of course this needed to be done that very second. Obviously.
11:29 (1/2) A head pokes through the door- Miss, can I please get the hummus that I left in the classroom?
11:30 Another head- Miss, it’s raining out here, can we get our umbrellas please?
If you’re quick!
And don’t forget to close the d_____
Too late. They’re gone, and….. THE DOOR IS WIDE OPEN.
11:31 Think about closing door again. Losing patience now.
Student B: Miss, I’m looking for my friend, do you know where she is?
Hrmm, just a guess, but I reckon she’s probably not in my classroom.
At least Student B closes the door on the way out.
11:33 Teacher A returns triumphantly. Has the bell gone!?
Not yet! Phew! Yes, you have 5 minutes to wolf something down. That’s like a full hour for a lay person.
11:35 Door opens from outside. Student C: Miss, can you tell the kids they’re not allowed their umbrellas downstairs? Thanks!
11:36 Door opens from inside. Teacher B heads out on duty: Katie, get down! Steve, get undercover!
Student D sneaks in: He’s been squirting me with water. Now I’m cold!
Tell the teacher on duty downstairs honey.
11:37 Student E takes the opportunity to sneak in: Miss, I have to blow my nose! Retrieves tissue from tissue box.
11:39 Teacher B returns through open door, recounting war stories of her playground duty.
Student A brings lunch box in and puts it in her bag.
Student G: Can I have my Pokemon cards please?
11:40 Bell rings. Time to line up for class.
THE DOOR IS WIDE OPEN.
RESISTANCE IN FUTILE.