Resistance is futile (Why I’m giving up closing my classroom door)

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NB: This post is inspired by true events. Yes, it actually happened. It happens. A lot.
11:05 Class dismissed for play break. Students ushered out door.

11:11 Final students leave. Walked over, closed door.

Ah, peace at last.

11:13 Students from neighboring classroom who are late to play open door as they spill outside.

Noise of excited play pierces the silence.

11:15 Last stragglers leave.

THE DOOR IS WIDE OPEN.

11:16 Got sick of the noise. Walked over, closed door.

Began munching on rice cracker snacks at desk. Checked emails. Opened a can of Coke Zero.

11:21 Student A returns to put lunch box in bag. Slams door behind her.

11:24 Student A enters to get lunch box from bag again.

Makes a half-hearted attempt to close door. Effort does not pay off.

Once again, room is filled with deafening roar of children playing below.

11:25 Walked over, closed door.

11:27 Teacher A leaves through door. Calls out to colleague. I’ll be back! Chances are high she’s photocopier-bound.

Hands are obviously too full to close door.

Walked over, closed door.

11:29 On my heels, girls walk in to return plastic bags they had borrowed. Of course this needed to be done that very second. Obviously.

11:29 (1/2) A head pokes through the door- Miss, can I please get the hummus that I left in the classroom?

Nodded begrudgingly.

11:30 Another head- Miss, it’s raining out here, can we get our umbrellas please?

If you’re quick!

And don’t forget to close the d_____

Too late. They’re gone, and….. THE DOOR IS WIDE OPEN.

11:31 Think about closing door again. Losing patience now.

Student B: Miss, I’m looking for my friend, do you know where she is?

Hrmm, just a guess, but I reckon she’s probably not in my classroom.

At least Student B closes the door on the way out.

11:33 Teacher A returns triumphantly. Has the bell gone!?

Not yet! Phew! Yes, you have 5 minutes to wolf something down. That’s like a full hour for a lay person.

11:35 Door opens from outside. Student C: Miss, can you tell the kids they’re not allowed their umbrellas downstairs? Thanks!

11:36 Door opens from inside. Teacher B heads out on duty: Katie, get down! Steve, get undercover!

Student D sneaks in: He’s been squirting me with water. Now I’m cold!

Tell the teacher on duty downstairs honey.

11:37 Student E takes the opportunity to sneak in: Miss, I have to blow my nose! Retrieves tissue from tissue box.

11:39 Teacher B returns through open door, recounting war stories of her playground duty.

Student A brings lunch box in and puts it in her bag.

Student G: Can I have my Pokemon cards please?

11:40 Bell rings. Time to line up for class.

THE DOOR IS WIDE OPEN.

RESISTANCE IN FUTILE.

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